Over the years, MMA has blessed us with some of the most incredible moments in combat sports history. From Khabib jumping over the octagon to Chael Sonnen’s bests tirades or perhaps even Kevin Randleman shitting himself while beating the shit out of Babalu, we are never out of banters to make us laugh. But some events out there will forever remain in MMA history for more inglorious reasons.
Think about the biggest cards in UFC history, which one is the most significant to you? Is it UFC 100 headlined by Brock Lesnar, an event that pinned the MMA world on it’s axis because of the exposure it got at the time? Is it UFC 205, the first ever card held at MSG? Or is it UFC 229, where the anticipation was so high that it really felt like the entire world stopped to watch an MMA fight? Well reader, all these options are fine but, in my opinion, the most significant event in UFC history and I dare say one of the most significant events in the history of modern civilization is UFC 203. Cleveland, Ohio.
The newly crowned UFC heavyweight champion Stipe Miocic was scheduled to defend his belt in his homecoming bout against a veteran of the game, former Pride, StrikeForce, Dream champion and legend of the sport Alistair Overeem (also a former PEDs abuser but we think it was funny so we don’t talk about it). I remember where I was and what I was doing at that moment. As a European MMA fan I had to stay up late to watch the fight, it was around 6am when the fight started. The card had been pretty dull all around as they usually are, except watching Jessica Andrade beat up another poor girl who didn’t deserve it (Andrade beating up people is very fun).
My eyes where already burning from watching CM Punk and Mickey Gall display some regional level MMA and the two cups of coffee I drank barely carried me through the night. Needless to say that I was already regretting staying up to watch that card, but little did I know that I was going to witness one of the most pivotal moments in MMA history.
Alistair Overrem is a complete fighter. He has absolutely battered everyone that he faced to win the K1 world championship in 2010, beating legends along the way like Tyrone Spong, Gökhan Saki and Peter Aerts. He also has a very good ground game and a wicked guillotine choke (we’ll get back to that). But more than that, Alistair has a great personality, he’s funny, hilariously cocky and he’s a nomad of MMA (he doesn’t have a based camp and prefers training all around the world). That made him a fan favorite and coupled with his legacy in the sport, it wasn’t hard to see the UFC giving him a title shot. On top of that he was riding a 4 fight winning streak since losing in a devastating fashion to Ben Rothwell in 2014, and he had just finished Andrei Arlovski in sensational fashion.
Miocic on the other hand is not much of a talker and honestly other than being a filthy cheater there’s not much to like about him. Nice wrestling pedigree, former golden gloves champion, good and educated jab, and a speech pattern… well let’s just say he’s hard to understand. Miocic is a nice fellow but as you probably know by now, here at StipeTapped, we have dedicated our lives to bringing the truth to MMA fans around the world and the quest expose what happened that night has become the very foundation of this revolutionary movement.
We were blessed with peak Goldie and Rogan that night, they hyped up every single moment of that shitty lackluster card all the way through to the main event and the card was blessed with their usual overreactions and dumb comments, this time it happened to be perfectly fitting for the weird and action packed few minutes of action that we were going to get.
Because yes, the fight didn’t go past the very first round. Alistair blessed us with the Gustafsson special (literally running away from your opponent) as he was getting easily backed up against the cage by Stipe (who wasn’t even throwing anything yet LMAO).
However, immediately after that, he caught Miocic with a nice left straight and knocked him down. The champion was still sitting on his ass when Alistair jumped on him with lighting speed and wrapped his arms around his head: the guillotine was locked in!
For a moment, the fans present in the Quicken Loans Arena were holding their breath.
Was Stipe going to lose a title he won just a few months ago? Was Alistair going to get his hands on a title that he dreamed about for years? Was Connor McGregor doing rails of coke somewhere in Dublin? (Spoiler alert: he probably was)
So many questions that needed answers and we were going to get them quickly. As both fighters landed on the mat the guillotine looked tighter and tighter, “nasty” in the words of Joe Rogan. But after struggling for a second and moving his hands around (take note of that) Stipe got out of Alistair’s guard and freed his head from the Dutchman’s hands.
Stipe got up and immediately started chasing Overeem who was running away from him, which gave us one of the most hilarious moments of the year. “He’s Hurt!!!” screamed Joe Rogan, as Miocic was beating up Alistair. Eventually Stipe got his timing right and Overeem’s game plan of circling away and then stepping in stopped working as he threw a poorly executed sidekick and got taken down. What followed was some of the most vicious ground and pound that I’ve seen. Eventually Stipe knocked out Overeem, defended his belt, and everybody in the arena could breathe again. What happened moments later shook the MMA community to the core!
THE LAST RITES
After the fight it was the usual, Bruce Buffer announces the results, Joe Rogan goes on to interview the winner, and everybody goes home happy after a night of blood and gore. However, after Stipe’s interview (is it really an interview if you can only hear half of the words?) Joe also interviewed the loser; Overeem. It was another brilliant moment from Joe as he decided to give the mic to a guy who had just gotten knocked out 5 minutes ago. But as Rogan was showing him some moments of the fight on the replay screen, Alistair seemed to get enlightened. It appeared as if God himself just whispered in his ears the ultimate truth.
He then told Rogan and the entire arena that Miocic was the better man tonight, but when he got him into the guillotine, he “clearly felt a tap”. The camera then cut to the replays of the fights and nobody seemed to see a moment when Stipe tapped, Alistair was confused, and the crowd started to boo him (as people often boo misunderstood geniuses). But the truth is that Stipe tapped, and it may be hard to see for the non-believers, but Alistair felt it and that’s all the evidence I need.
Since then the filthy cheater from Ohio is still champ and manages to somehow avoid the divine punishment that the MMA gods sent against him. Our spiritual leader Alistair is still there as awesome as ever and we await his return to the top. The movement will take over the world and the truth will be re-established.
And you? Have you joined the movement yet?