***Disclaimer: This is most likely the greatest and stupidest MMA article ever conceived, so tread with caution***
#5 – Henry Cejudo
No, not because they’re both short you fucking dumbass (a good start to every article is to insult the audience.) More-so because they both have the same obsession… the gold. The leprechaun spends each waking moment reminding everyone how much gold he has, and how much it means to him. Wait, no. That’s Cejudo. The only real difference between the two is that the Leprechaun has been to space.
Should this Leprechaun-esque quench for gold lead him on to win the bantamweight belt on Saturday, we may get gold medal memes from Cejudo that we hadn’t even dreamed of.
#4 – Khabib Nurmagomedov
Unrelenting, unkillable, undefeated…. That only describes Khabib (Sorry Jason, but you die in every fucking movie) Seriously though if you were to slap a Papakha on Jason, put up a cage in Camp Crystal Lake, and have him lose a good 100lbs, he would probably bludgeon opponents the same way Khabib does. Bonus points because they both seem to have one hell of a squeeze.
#3 – Valentina Shevchenko
Is Valentina a shapeshifting clown that feeds on the fear of children and hangs out in sewers? Maybe, but that isn’t why they are being compared here. They both share an unsettling trait that scares both of their opponents equally… the dance. Which one of these do you think give children more nightmares?
#2 – Rory MacDonald
Too easy, let’s move on.
#1 – Jon Jones
Yes, I know you don’t like him. However, if we can look past that anger, we should be able to recognize the best MMA fighter ever when it comes to getting in his opponent’s heads. Look at his last 2 fights against Gus and Smith and compare that to how they both fought each other this weekend. There’s just something about fighting Jon Jones that he manages to get in his opponent’s heads and impact how they perform. Very similar to how Freddy gets into the teenager’s heads before he kills them. Is this a bit of a reach? Yeah, but it did give me an excuse to show these two pictures side by side, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.