You’ve all seen him, made infamous during the Brooklyn bus attack perpetrated by a notorious phone stomper, and motivational speaker Conor McGregor. But do you really know the dolly? Most of you don’t even know his real name and yet he’ll forever be part of MMA’s history. In a groundbreaking interview brought to you by the staff of StipeTapped, Michael opens up to the world and reveal a lot about himself.
***He stands tall with a cold heartless stare***
I had to wait for half an hour in the cold but I eventually entered the building (without permission of course). Michael was waiting for me near a wall, he seemed pretty relaxed, I mean for a dolly… I guess dollys always look that relax.
Me: Firstly Michael, thank you for accepting to do this interview I know that you are a very busy dolly these days, but I feel like this is important for every mma fan.
Michael: Well thanks to you for giving me this opportunity
Me: Let’s start with the beginning, can you present yourself to the MMA community?
Michael: OK… my name is Michael, I’m a dolly as you know (he had smirk on his face while saying that). And I work at the Barclay center here in Brooklyn, New York.
Me: Are you the only dolly working here Michael?
Michael: No, I’m not! There are a lot of us here, but we don’t necessarily do the same things. For instance, people use me to carry stuff like delivery packages and heavy objects backstage. Some of my friends get to carry luggage for athletes. I have two big wheels but some of my friends have six small wheels, we’re all different just like human beings.
Me: Do you know how you ended up here in Brooklyn?
Michael: I remember being in a giant place with a lot of other dollys, then a group of men took me and a bunch of my friends and put us all in a large truck. We then arrived here, and I have never left ever since. I don’t have any memory prior to that. It’s weird isn’t it?
Me: Well a lot of humans don’t have any memories prior to a certain age, it’s not that weird. But I would like to cut to the chase now, the accident.
Me: Did you know what was happening at the time and who was around?
*He took a big breath before answering.*
Michael: I remember seeing a bus in front of me full of people, at that point I didn’t notice anything because I see that pretty much every day. But then around 30 men entered the area and started banging on the bus and yelling, I couldn’t understand what they were saying but they seemed mad. I originally thought that it was a misunderstanding between coworkers, you know it happens all the time. So when that guy ran towards me and picked me up I was happy thinking I was going to help, but then… It’s really hard to talk about it.
Me: It’s okay, take your time.
Michael: This man picked me up and threw me at the window, I smashed the glass and fell on the ground.
Me: How did it feel?
Michael: I don’t know… it happened so fast… and you must understand, I feel very sad when I’m not used. I need to help somebody accomplish something every day, so I felt like I did what I was supposed to do, but then I saw the reactions of the people in the bus and the mood in the area after the events and I started questioning myself.
Me: You’re not to blame for what happened.
Michael: I know but still… I think you humans call that an existential crisis. I’ve been thinking a lot about my purpose since that accident. I think I realised that I don’t have one purpose to myself but can be used to fulfil anybody’s needs may they be good or bad…
Me: Ok… So have you been following MMA since that?
Michael: Yeah man, I don’t get a lot of occasions to know what happens, but I listen to conversations. I learned that the Irish guy got his ass kicked by the Russian guy, which makes me feel better about the whole thing. But I don’t really like MMA, It’s kinda trash.
Me: I agree. (Yeah let’s stop lying to ourselves, MMA is trash and so are we for watching it)
Michael the dolly is still working at the Barclays Center, he has since received the help of a psychologist and he’s doing much better.