EXCLUSIVE: We Talk To McGregors Latest Victim

In the early morning hours of Monday March 11th a vicious; heart wrenching assault was committed. By none other than Conor McGregor. McGregor had just left the night club ‘LIV’, and was inside a Miami hotel. It was there that a fan of the MMA superstar, (who also left the same club as he spotted McGregor in). When trying to take a picture with the global MMA Superstar, the fan was violently assaulted.

StipeTapped rushed to scene and has secured a world exclusive interview with the victim of this incident. Calling us from inside the hospital, we spoke to Mr. Apple iPhone.

Artist Recreation Of The Incident 

Mr. iPhone, thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us. I know you are in very rough shape still.

Yes, things are still very hard for me. I tried to be strong, but forgive me if I crack.

Of course, you have been through a lot. Let’s start there. Tell us what happened, from your perspective.

Well, I was having a great night. I had gone to a nightclub to have a good time, maybe get some numbers. It had been a great night, but it was closing time. So I left LIV, and as I was leaving I saw Conor. I recognized him instantly, because I am a huge fan. I wanted to take a picture with him and my owner, as I knew my owner could use this picture to flex on Instagram, but that is when McGregor snapped.

When you say snapped, did it appear that he was under the influence of something?
I’m not sure. It all happened so fast. He slapped me. I fell right to the ground. The next thing I remember is getting stomped and slammed repeatedly. The whole thing is blurry to think about.

It was at this point, that Apple started to break down, holding back tears.

 It’s okay, take your time. What happened next?

He picked me up, a broken, smahed to death mess on the ground. Then he tried to kidnap me. He took me to his house. Held me against my will. Luckily, it didn’t take long for the police to find me, I had my GPS sensor on. They came and arrested him and saved me.

Thank goodness for that, Mr. iPhone. Conor has recently posted bail, and his legal team is referring to this as a minor altercation. How do you respond?

Minor?! I am in the hospital. I need repairs. If they unplug me I will die. Does that seem minor to you?

Is there a message that you would like to send Conor?

Not only will I be pursuing legal action against Conor, but when this is all settled I want to fight him.

Did you just say you want to fight Conor McGregor?

Yes. Absolutely. I’ll show him what I’ve got when I’m prepared; fully charged.

You heard it here folks. McGregor vs iPhone. Thank you very much for your time, Apple. Hopefully you heal up soon.

Thank you for the opportunity to tell my story.

StipeTapped will continue to follow this story as it develops. Stay tuned!