Welcome back to this weeks edition of the StipeTapped staff picks ! Or if you’re a first time reader, welcome to the opulently decadent, elitist coterie of the MMA fan world to grace the cavern of the inter-web, that you so find yourself trundling through.

We’ve got a stacked corsage of fights this weekend with the return of Cain Velasquez against Francis Ngannou taking the centre stage of the bully pulpit of our combat attentiveness.

So to cut a long story short: Here’s our picks for Bellator 215, 216 & UFC On ESPN 1.

Derek Hall’s Picks

Fili = Because he has the greatest nickname in the sport
Luque = Barberena only wins when he gets fake arm triangle chokes
Caceres = Kron Gracie makes me insecure about my appearance
Calvillo = Because it’s hilarious to see Luke Thomas get fired up about her name
Felder = Because he has been injecting himself with gorilla testosterone
N’Gannou = Cain is overrated

Rei’s Picks

Ngannou = Cain looks SOFT and he keeps his chin up while throwing – expect him to get hurt
Felder = His opponent is skinny, chinny and Paul gets spinny
Calvillo = Will miss weight and steal a decision
Kron = Caceres sucks, Kron by sub
Luque = Future Champ, wouldn’t be surprised if he finishes Bryan
Fili = He is far from great but is tricky to fight against

Ciro Crispino’s Picks

Valerie Loureda = No one called Colby should ever win a fight ever.
Erick Silva = He’s back on the juice.
Cro Cop = (see last entry).
Vitaly Minakov = So help me God we need exciting new talent in the heavyweight division.
MVP = Will win the official fight, but Paul Daley will win the scrap after the bell.

Andre Fili = He is the youngest of the young prospects who aren’t as young as you think they are.
Bryan Barberena = Looks like he has no business knocking anyone out, which is why he is going to knock out Vincent Luque.
Kron Gracie = Y’all ain’t never that level of vegan flat earth guard pulling.
Cynthia Calvillo = As the MMA gods have clearly turned their backs on Casey after that Michelle Waterson robbery.
Paul Felder = Because fuck team Irvin.
Cain Velasquez = Him and Stipe need to fight. It has to happen.

Casey J. Bach’s Picks

Cain = Until Cain is demonstrated to be done, he’s the default pick in any fight he’s in
Vick = Two guys who need the win badly. I think Felder will try to do too much and cost himself this fight
Casey = War Casey’s!
Kron = I’m ready for a new Gracie hype train
Luque = I know meme folks like Bam Bam so I will be contrarian here
Jury = Two guys who have sadly become known as disappointing prospects, but I think Jury has more talent

Bellator:  Daley crushing the can crusher & Nelson beating Glass Cannon Cro Cop

Emeric Daité’s Picks

MVP = He crushed a man’s skull
Cro Cop = He is the only MMA fighter who actually killed people in his previous life

N’Gannou = I want a quick main event so i can go to sleep early
Felder = Fuck Vick
The rest i don’t give a fuck about.

Tom Kilmister’s Picks

Jury = Filis nickname weirds me out.
Barberena = His beard.
Gracie = The man literally said he’s prepared to die In the octagon.
Casey = I want her to face Ansaroff
Felder = When you get back flipped over your career has to go downhill in the near future.
Ngannou = I still lose sleep over that uppercut. You know which one
I’ve realised that beard rating is really becoming a returning standpoint for me