Fan Fic: Nick Diaz Speaks To The MMA Psychologist

Disclaimer: This our fan fiction section. Anything that has been written should be taken with a grain of salt.

Hello my name is Dr.Doffenheim, I am a leading sport psychologist and I have the privilege of dealing with some of the biggest stars in all the combat sport world. I will share with you the transcripts of some of my recent sessions with a few of the best fighters in the world. Enjoy!

***Note: Nick was late for the session and seemed intoxicated***

-Nick Diaz: So…. what’s up?

-Me: I’m feeling very good right now Nick, thanks! What have you been up to since the last time?

-Nick: I’ve been in Vegas for… business. It was cool but I got bored so I went back to Stockton.

-Me: Oh so you’re actually home right now? That’s good, have you worked on what we talked about?

His face changed quickly, and he smiled but you know, he wasn’t really smiling.

-Me: Nick I’m here to help you…

-Nick: Yes, I stopped calling Dana at night pretending to be a mob boss with a Boston accent.

-Me: You know this isn’t good for you, I’m really happy that you distance yourself from him. You must fall back in love with the sport before dealing with those guys again. How many marathons have you ran this month?

***The conversation got a little friendlier and Nick started to open up about his problems***

-Me: Have you thought about fighting again? Would you like to do that?

Nick: They don’t want to pay me! I could beat all these motherfuckers! All of them! Woodley sucks, Ben Askren sucks, they’re all on steroids!

Me: Nick we talked about this, you can’t put your own insecurity on everybody else and assume that everybody is on steroids! What about Georges? He wanted to be your friend and he wasn’t on steroids.

Nick: This Canadian motherfucker poisoned me! He put something in my water bottle, and he keeps sending me links to YouTube videos about dinosaurs and aliens; he’s weird as fuck.

***We then on to talk about his career and regrets***

-Me: Don’t you think that a little bit of high-level wrestling training would’ve changed your career?

-Nick: I don’t do that gay shit, but I’m not against being on top of a guy pounding him, but no-homo

Me: Yeah no-homo. (We shook hands to make sure that we understood each other)

-Me: But what now Nick? You need to get your life together! I’m not against the weed but you need to stop drinking that much and get back in the octagon.

-Nick: Fuck that!

-Me: But why?!

-Nick: Because they’re all on steroids! Said Nick while he was fighting tears

***I stood up and hugged him as his tears dropped on my shirt.***

-Me: It’s not your fault Nick, it’s not your fault. You can trust me, I’m your friend. I think it’s enough for today. We made a lot of progress.