As another week of ultimate fighting presents itself to fist fight fans around the world; we, the StipeTapped elite world-famous writing team decided to sit and ponder what we think will happen on this weeks edition of UFC.

On this week’s edition: There’s UFC Fortazela, which is a relatively okay card, with many fan favourites nestled all throughout with Brazilian legends like Aldo, Maia & Oliveira all featuring.

Now for the all-important question.  “who have we got ?”

UPDATE: We’ve not got Esha Chanel’s picks.

Esha Chanel:

Moraes = Very entertaining to watch
Aldo = (Crossed fingers emoji) Enough said
Maia = Spider monkey vibes
Oliveira = Because you literally have one job right now with a record like that
Walker = Quenches my thirst
Souza = A fucking quick lil badass with some power

 

Ciro Crispino:

Moraes = I desperately want to hear his post fight callout.

Moicano = Jack Slack says he’s amazing and what do I know?

Maia = It has to work at some point doesn’t it?

Teymur = Oliveira didn’t take care of his underwear.

Walker = The LHW division needs a man named Johnny Walker.

Livia Souza = Her opponent didn’t seem to know she actually had a fight on this weekend.

Emeric Kartman:

Moraes = He is fucking amazing to watch and I want him to make the Bantamweight division great again.

Aldo = Moicano is better than him but he never lost in Brazil and I just don’t want to be heartbroken again (Fact check says Aldo lost at UFC 212 in Brazil to Holloway)

Maia = He comes out to Linkin Park

Oliveira = I secretly think he is gay and he might announce it in his post-fight interview

Walker = Because… do i really need to say anything?

Forta = She ain’t gonna do anything else in her life with a face tattoo

Derek Hall:

Moraes = Lord knows we don’t want to see Assuncao get a title shot

Moicano = His name means Mohawk and that’s badass.

Good = He’s pretty good.

Olivera = I dig the Clark Kent/Superman vibe he has got going on with his glasses.

Walker = Because Scotch.

Forta = She missed weight and there is no god.

Tom Kilmister:

Moraes = For the post fight call out obviously

Aldo = Hopefully in 12 seconds

Maia = I don’t like Goods beard

Teymur = 25 wins sounds better than 26 wins for Oliveira

Walker = Johnny is too much of a great name to lose

Forta = Anyone who is self-proclaimed as a g