10 Befitting Punishments For Khabib

On Tuesday, the Nevada State Athletic Commission held a hearing to determine the fate of Conor McGregor and Khabib Nurmagomedov for their roles in the UFC 229 post-fight kerfuffle.

McGregor was handed a relatively fair, $50k fine and a six month suspension (Which is essentially nothing to him; six months to prepare for Cerrone and a little sting in the pocket), Khabib on the other hand was gifted a hefty fine of half a million dollars, and a nine month suspension with the possibility of it being reduced to just six months, on the condition that he films an anti-bullying PSA for Nevada.

The MMA community was left in an uproar following this news, some referring to it as unfair, and #1 bullshit.

Khabib has even decided to hibernate for the winter while he and his friends serve out their time. However here is a list of punishments that are more fitting for this particular incident.

10. Mow the lawns, and wash the cars of all NSAC commissioners.

9. Take a six-week course on repairing relationships in Dublin with Team SBG.

8. Teach a class on Russian Politics for Children. – Good Luck On Chechnya. 

7. Do push-ups for homeless people, then pay them money.

6.Wrestle the, now fully grown, bear he wrestled as a child.


5. Eat 1 pound of tiramisu for every punch thrown at Dillion Danis.

4. Do shots of Proper 12 with Conor McGregor.

 3. Film a PSA for Nevada on correct bus etiquette. 

2. Buy a house from Al Iaquinta

1. Fight Tony Ferguson.