It’s A Slow News Day: Here’s Some Dad Jokes & Cat Pics

Yes it’s only been a few hours since Ryan Bader blasted Fedors skull, sending it flying into ether. Though all things considered; it’s been pretty boring to be an MMA fan lately. There’s been a distinct lack of dolly-chucking, drug failing mania that usually fuels this ‘Sport’.

To try and quench your MMA boredom & (Because our site could do with some more views) here’s some Dad jokes and cat pics to keep you occupied until the MMA world is set on fire again.

Today, my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell “Donald, duck!”
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter’s car seat with one hand and said, “How do one armed mothers do it?” Without missing a beat I replied, “Single handedly.”
Did you know that’s a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
MOM: “How do I look?” DAD: “With your eyes.”
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”
Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.