It’s A Slow News Day: Here’s Some Dad Jokes & Cat Pics

Yes it’s only been a few hours since Ryan Bader blasted Fedors skull, sending it flying into ether. Though all things considered; it’s been pretty boring to be an MMA fan lately. There’s been a distinct lack of dolly-chucking, drug failing mania that usually fuels this ‘Sport’.

To try and quench your MMA boredom & (Because our site could do with some more views) here’s some Dad jokes and cat pics to keep you occupied until the MMA world is set on fire again.

  • Today, my son asked “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
  • I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
  • If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
  • The secret service isn’t allowed to yell “Get down!” anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell “Donald, duck!”
  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
  • What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
  • My wife tried to unlatch our daughter’s car seat with one hand and said, “How do one armed mothers do it?” Without missing a beat I replied, “Single handedly.”
  • Did you know that’s a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
  • MOM: “How do I look?” DAD: “With your eyes.”
  • What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”
  • Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
  • Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
  • Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

As promised. The cat pics.