Our Top List:
10. Dominic Toretto – Signature Move = Headbutt
Dom from fast and furious is one of the scariest dudes to walk planet earth. He has that ability to beat you in a drag race, beat you to death in a fist fight and steal your girl all in the one night. Which obviously makes him a perfect fit for Smash Bros (Watch your back Link)
9. Zombies (Walking Dead) – Signature Move = Swarming Herd
The Zombies from the walking dead are hugely underrated as TV villains. The thing that’s scary about the impeding zombie apocalypse is the fact that the zombies will be literally everywhere, they can also one hit kill you meaning you’re likely going to (Kind of die) if one sneaks up one you. In the heated flurry of Smash Bros fights this makes the zombies super dangerous as you have to be constantly watching your back, which makes for an interesting gameplay rebalance.
8. Mr MeeSeeks (Rick & Morty) – Signature Move = Portal Gun
These loveable blue alien-ish dudes secured a place deep into all our hearts when they burst onto Rick & Morty season one. These dudes are comedically awesome and showed they’re violent as hell too when they tried to kill Jerry. I’d love to see a MeeSeeks VS Mario matchup sometime & Smash Bros gives us this opportunity.
7. Master Chief – Signature Move = Throws Grenade
Simply put; he’s the greatest character to ever grace the screens of xbox players, Master Chief is mainly the GOAT in my books because he’s a silent character who never gets a face reveal; Master Chief is never seen without his helmet making him near invisible. Maybe I’ve too much free time, but to me, he almost acts as a grand metaphor or allegory for all of human nature. The blank, invisible Master Chief just goes off helping people regardless of the possible consequences of his actions; he’s the idealistic human in a way. He ushers pure unfiltered benevolence. We should all aspire to be more like Master Chief.
6. Homer Simpson – Signature Move = Strangle
Sometimes we’re all a little Homer Simpson. He’s a character I believe every human can resonate with; his everyday struggles and friendly stupidness strikes a chord with every average American, making him in my opinion the greatest character in all of culture. He needs a Smash spot.
5. Kanye West – Signature Move = Throws Yeezys
The undisputed greatest artist in all of human history certainly deserves a place in Super Smash Bros. Kanye is the musical GOAT and easily deserves a place in this video game masterpiece. He’s also an entry akin to Trump; where many people would like to assault.
4. Joe Rogan – Signature Move = Spinning Heel Kick
Joe Rogan; the podcasting, TRT champion is the obvious fit for Smash Bros. If they can put a stupid piranha plant in there; surely they can manage a way to put Joe Rogan in the game.
3. Shrek – Signature Move = Hulk Smash
Dreamworks should just do the entire world a solid and allow Nintendo to put Shrek in the game. He’s the perfect Smash Bros character with his athletic roided-up physique and slick movement. Shrek also sadly hasn’t been put in a video game since 2010, so a one off comeback would be a sight for sore eyes. Please Dreamworks.
2. Donald Trump – Signature Move = Atomic Butt Flop (Mark Hunt Style)
Whether you love him, or loathe him; it would be undeniably epic to see the POTUS get added to Super Smash. It’s a win win for both sides of the political sphere. As liberals could be given an opportunity to virtually punch his face in whilst the Conservatives are given a chance to drool hot saliva over their controllers as they control their hero.
1. Conor McGregor – Signature Move = Left Hand
Though you can play as McGregor in UFC 3, I’d still love to see him get added to Super Smash Brothers. Just imagine how insane it would be to see Conor McGregor sparking the Mario brothers both dead in ‘Tirteeeen Seconds !!!’
Bonus Entries:
Nate Diaz
Gus Fring
Woody
Buzz Lightyear
Ronda Rousey
Nathan Drake
Crash Bandicoot
Jeremy Clarkson
John Marston
Samuel L.Jackson (Pulp Fiction)